An affecting debut novel explores intersecting challenges in the lives of two teenage girls. Ever since Pa left, taking the family’s savings with him, Mexican American Belén has been struggling both in school—she’s flunking—and at home. Her mom is either absent or, if she’s home, crying; her older sister, Ava, works constantly to help support them. Belén conceives of her own depression as a physical, suffocating pressure. Hooking up with Alexis, a college guy who’s clearly using Belén, provides temporary relief but long-term heartache. Belén feels her life trajectory has stalled, and she struggles with a deep-seated fear that she not only looks like her father but will someday behave like him, too. And then a new complication arises: Belén’s best friend, Leti, an ambitious AP student, is pregnant. Although Leti’s Catholic parents know she’s pregnant, Leti is terrified to reveal the identity of the baby’s father; her boyfriend, Quentin, is Black, and Leti knows her Mexican immigrant parents—who often lament that Leti’s skin is so dark—will never approve. There are no simple fixes for these Oakland teens, and their lives may not look exactly as they had planned, but neither is the outlook bleak; by the end, both Belén and Leti take steps toward a more promising future. (Ages 14-18)

An unforgettable YA debut about two Latina teens growing up in East Oakland as they discover that the world is brimming with messy complexities, perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo and Erika L. Sánchez.

Belén Dolores Itzel del Toro wants the normal stuff: to experience love or maybe have a boyfriend or at least just lose her virginity. But nothing is normal in East Oakland. Her father left her family. She’s at risk of not graduating. And Leti, her super-Catholic, nerdy-ass best friend, is pregnant—by the boyfriend she hasn’t told her parents about, because he’s Black, and her parents are racist.

Things are hella complicated.

Weighed by a depression she can’t seem to shake, Belén helps Leti, hangs out with an older guy, and cuts a lot of class. She soon realizes, though, that distractions are only temporary. Leti is becoming a mother. Classmates are getting ready for college. But what about Belén? What future is there for girls like her? 

From debut author Carolina Ixta comes a fierce, intimate examination of friendship, chosen family, and the generational cycles we must break to become our truest selves.